After learning that a 2,000-year-old “sewing equipment” may be the only known life-size Roman dildo, UK archaeologists have taken the internet by storm. They described the purported phallic invention in the magazine Antiquity. According to the Times of London, the “sex-cessory” in the style of Caligula was initially found in 1992 while being excavated at the Roman fort of Vindolanda in Northumberland. Imagine having a dildo made out of wood. It would be crazy, won’t it? Since it was found with shoes and other clothing, archaeologists initially thought the six-inch-long cylindrical device was a tool for darning, the process of patching holes in woven fabric using a needle and thread. However, modern scientists now believe this was a mistake.
“I have to confess, part of me thinks it’s kind of self-evident that it is a penis,” said Dr Rob Collins, an archaeologist at Newcastle University who co-authored the paper, the Guardian reported. “We know ancient Romans and Greeks used sexual implements. This object from Vindolanda could be an example of one.” After additional review, 30 years later, scientists thought they could have been off the mark. ‘Penis Bags’ Filled With Milk Tea Catches Netizens’ Attention, but Thailand Cafe To Stop Selling Drinks in Phallic-Shaped Bags Now!
The tool was also smooth at both ends, indicating that the alleged double-headed dildo may have been in use for a while. Obviously, the phallic mimic may not have been intended for actual masturbation. According to Collins, Romans might have used it as a symbolic pestle to pulverise ingredients for “culinary or medicinal use” and the “phallic shape may have been chosen to imbue these with good luck.”
Tiny phallic representations were common in ancient Rome, frequently appearing in mosaics and frescoes and on pendants worn as tantric totems. Yet, because of its construction, size, and disembodied nature, which make it the first of its sort to be discovered in ancient Rome, scholars speculate that this doppel-wanger may have been used for self-indulgence.
The study also suggested that the wooden willie might have been a separate component of a “herm,” a Roman statue consisting of a person’s bust and a pillar that descends to reveal their genitalia like an X-rated Pez dispenser. Similar to a superstitious baseball player stroking their lucky bat before play, lusty Romans would rub it to increase their desire.
(The above story first appeared on Morning Tidings on Feb 21, 2023 08:33 AM IST. For more news and updates on politics, world, sports, entertainment and lifestyle, log on to our website morningtidings.com).
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